


Come Home

by AlyssaHoran



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Gen, M/M, Past Character Death, Sad, Supernatural - Freeform, post season 12, prayers, season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssaHoran/pseuds/AlyssaHoran
Summary: It's been a week since they lost Mary. Since they lost Cas.





	Come Home

Dean scrubs a hand across his face while nursing the neck of his beer with the other. It's been a week since they managed to trap Lucifer in the alternate universe. It's been a week since they lost Mary. Since they lost _Cas_.

Not for the first time, Dean finds himself wishing he'd never grown up in the life. That he and Sam could've grown up with two loving parents, gone to college, gotten married, and had two point five kids; had a _future_. It's all wishful thinking though, and he knows that. He knows what being a Winchester means. He knows that he's destined to live his life saving as many people as he can, while watching everyone he's ever loved die.

It may be the copious amounts of alcohol he's had tonight but Dean entertains the idea that maybe it would be better if he were to die. The reason everyone he loves has died is because they were associated with him. They decided Dean was worth caring about, worth loving, and they paid for it with their lives. If he were to erase himself from the equation then no one else would die on his account, which felt like a pretty fair trade to Dean.

Of course he'd never actually allow himself to die whether it was by his own means or while on a hunt because he still had Sammy to look after. Sam is the only real thing keeping him from drowning under all of the loss now that Mary and Cas are gone. His whole life has revolved around protecting Sam and dying would do nothing but hurt the one thing in the world he had left.

As Dean gets up and heads outside of their motel room he silently thanks whoever may be listening, that Sam was out gathering any knowledge he could on how to reopen the tear in the universe to save Mary. If there's anything left to save that is. He's thankful Sam is gone, because if he wasn't Dean was sure he'd be given Sam's puppy dog eyes. His brother would never force him to talk but he'd throw enough concerned looks his way to make Dean cave and talk about his feelings, which is the last thing he wants right now.

Walking to the parking lot, Dean climbs into the Impala and just sits there in the silence. He still feels ridiculous about what he's about to do but he feels a little more at ease in the comfort of Baby; the only real home he's ever known. Taking a deep breath, Dean looks out the windshield at the night sky and the stars that hang above him. He allows himself a few more moments of just gazing at the stars, searching for something that he can't quite put his finger on, before he finally begins to speak.

"Hey Cas. I don't know if you can hear me or where you are, but I had to try. I-I need you to come home. You can't do this. You don't get to just leave us here alone. Not when we've just started to feel like a family again. I need you, Cas. You, me, and Sammy; we're a team remember? Team Free Will isn't the same without you. _I'm_ not the same without you. So, you have to come back you hear me?!"

He's shouting now and he knows that someone is going to hear him if he doesn't quiet down but he can't find it within himself to care.

"Dammit Cas! Where are you?!" The impala's horn blares much too loudly in the otherwise quiet night startling Dean enough for him to calm his building rage and remove his hands from where they beat against the steering wheel moment before.

Returning his gaze to the stars above, Dean watches for a moment as his unshed tears blur the little lights together. He scrubs a hand down his face for what feels like the hundredth time this night before drawing in a shaky breath.

"Look, Cas, I'm sorry okay? I'm not angry at you I just want..." Glassy eyes gaze pleadingly up at the stars begging them to listen.

"Come home, Cas. _Please. Come home."_

 


End file.
